Waiting on the Weight - holding ourselves back for "someday"

Seems about 75% of the time when I am chatting women up about what I do, their first reaction is "Oh, I would love to do that!" followed by "Maybe when I lose a few pounds I'll join up..." It may be even more than 75% of the time, I am being generous. I always tell them that joining a dance class is a great way to either lose those pounds OR learn to love yourself without needing to lose any weight. I give a brief elevator spiel about how in my classes, bellydance is about strength, empowerment, and confidence. You don't necessarily walk in with it, but my job is to make sure you walk out with it!

My yoga friends are well familiar with the similar phenomenon of "I can't take yoga. I'm not flexible!" Why is this sentiment so prevalent? Why do we set so many plans on the "some day" shelf, placing barriers between what we're doing now or where we are now, and what we want to do and where we want to be?

Just this week a friend posted a link to this article on seibellaboudoir.com, which explores this idea from her experience as a boudoir photographer.

"Women have a habit of putting their lives on hold because of their weight.  If they’re a size 16, they want to be a size 12.  If they’re a size 12, they want to be a size 8.  They promise themselves that they’ll have the courage to approach a guy at a bar, or wear a bikini to the beach, or finally wear that skimpy red dress that “doesn’t fit quite right”."

What do we perceive the benefit of this delay to be? In fact, the delay is only going to make reaching your goals that much more difficult. After all, if you started playing guitar a year ago, this year you would have a year of experience playing guitar! But if you keep saying you'll start next week...

So what are you waiting for? Have you always wanted to try a bellydance class? Then start TODAY!  If you're in Seattle, then I hope you will come try a class with me at Deep Roots Dance. But if you live in another city, guaranteed there is a class somewhere near you. Find it, and for goodness sake, stop waiting and GO!

How to Leave

Sam Brenneman posted this in her notes on Facebook not too long back, and I just love how thoughtful it is about the process of leaving a class, teacher, and/or troupe. It ties nicely in with another recent post of mine about communicating with one's teacher.  Since not everyone is on Facebook, I got permission from Sam to repost this here. Enjoy!

How to Leave
by Sam Brenneman

So you've been dancing under a particular teacher and you know it's time to go... how do you leave?

This situation comes to almost everyone at some point. How you choose to handle it can make for a parting that makes virtually no difficulties, or one that causes raft of trouble, bad feeling and ongoing repercussions.

There are plenty of reasons people seek out a different teacher or school, or decide to quit dance, or dance on their own; in most ways it's not much different from taking a new job. You have to quit the old one in order to move on. Whatever you do, think it through first. Chances are good that you'll be seeing each other at the same events, so bridge-burning may not be a wise course. If you are able to openly show gratitude and publicly acknowledge your teacher, it shows your class and maturity, completes your dance 'lineage', and makes everyone look good.

You may be under the impression that 'everyone knows' your circumstances (what led you to depart, who you've studied under, with what intention you are moving on), but that's generally not the case; people do not pay such close attention. So, it's up to you to make yourself clear and do it properly.

How you leave depends on how far you've immersed yourself in the teacher/troupe leader's activities. Is it your first class session, or are you a troupe member? Taking for fun, or seriously into it? Will you need to maintain a connection to promote larger interests?

If you took a session or two but weren't very deeply invested in the instructor's vision, just go, without fanfare. Your teacher, if she's been at it for any length of time, is accustomed to this; people's needs and circumstances change all the time.

If you are further in, perhaps as a multiple-repeat advanced student or a student troupe member, it's a different story. Of course you can do the same and just drop out, but if you intend to continue in the same dance community where you will be seeing each other, it pays to be gracious in a professional sense. It's harder, but ultimately worth it, for you to be upfront. Tell your teacher you're drawn to explore a different direction. If you have a vision for a group of your own, share it. Most teachers will support this if you give them the chance; it makes everyone look good as well as maintains a certain comfort level.

For your former teacher to find out you've formed a troupe by encountering you with them at an event is less than ideal. For you to do this even as you continue to take with her is trouble waiting to happen.

Be honest and respectful, because it's the right thing to do.

If you are a troupe member, this gets especially delicate, as there's a mutual investment of more depth and intensity. For some troupes, there may be a contract in place. You may be part of a regular performance job, or be in rehearsal for an event like a recital or a stage show; be professional and considerate, and see the commitment through. Quit when you aren't part of an essential plan.

Do it face to face to avoid misunderstanding, or at least be willing to meet once you've made your decision. Do not quit summarily by text or e-mail; do not express anger or disappointment even if you are feeling them; do not bring other troupe members in on your decision, though you may and should present it to them in a professional manner once it's made.

It's poor form and borderline unethical to work behind your teacher/troupe leader's back to subvert an existing performance unit due to your own dissatisfaction. Do not under any circumstances mine her student list in order to form your own unit. People may find you in time, but make your own dancers from the ground up if you want to truly earn your credibility.

The key here is respect. If you want respect from your former instructors, or hope to enlarge the dance community, preserve your early connections as you follow your dreams.

A note from the essayist: this piece is put together from knowledge gleaned over ten years of dancing as a student and as a teacher, as well as from observation of others' experiences; I have left, been left, and heard stories of leaving well or badly. The intention is to help others understand how to manage this common situation for the best outcome.

About Sam Brenneman
"Sam began dancing in January of 2002, taking classes with Gabrielle Deschaine at her local Y. She had previously danced with Read My Hips, the wonderful Chicago tribal troupe directed by Stephanie Barto.

Currently Sam is director of multiple troupes: Smoke Tribal Bellydance; Gulbahar, the student troupe based at Triton College; and ruth+barbara bellydance (everyone should), a new venture set to debut in February 2012.  She was accepted as a Fat Chance Sister Studio in 2009, committing to Carolena's vision of showcasing the power, beauty, and strength of women through American Tribal Style bellydance."

If you want to learn more about Sam, hit up her site at http://www.smallstudiocostume.com/

Four Steps to Becoming a Great Dancer

 I did it. I solved the riddle. I have cracked the code.

Right here, right now, I am going to give you the mysterious formula, the secret recipe, the magic wand to wave over your dance life that will give every single dancer reading this the power to become a stronger, more beautiful dancer.   It is a four step plan, which works regardless of what style of dance you choose to pursue; and is effective for all ages, all shapes and sizes and fitness levels.  Whether you have aspirations to take to the stage, or just want to be able to dance socially with greater confidence and grace, this method is for you.  I have used this method myself for years so I can attest to its efficacy, and in fact all the best performers I know have employed this same method to achieve similar results.

It is 100% foolproof, and only requires a little time each week to work!

Are you ready...? Read on!

FAQ Spotlight: When do I get to perform?

When I was a new student, I was absolutely rabid for any new information on bellydance. I was always digging around for new details about the styles I was studying, the classes I was taking, and the teachers I was studying with (or hoped to one day study with). I know a lot of you reading this blog are the same way--you just love reading about the dance, and learning all you can in your time both in and outside of class!

It was in this spirit that I started my FAQ section on my website. I knew other dancers are just like me, and are eager to read up on various topics having to do with the dance. There is a lot to cover, but I tried to focus my questions and answers on the same topics I wondered about when I was first learning. It makes for a long FAQ, though, and it can be hard to find time to dig through it all. So I am going to occasionally post a blog entry featuring one of the FAQ topics I think you may enjoy reading. I welcome any thoughts or feedback on these topics--I am still that same eager student who loves to study and discuss all the angles of this incredible dance form!

When do I get to perform?

Performing is an exciting way to bring the joy you feel in dancing to an audience--I have been a performer all my life and can definitely vouch for what a rewarding experience it can be to take to the stage. However, it is by no means a requirement, nor is it even a "natural progression" that every dancer should one day perform. Many students are quite happy to confine their dancing to class and/or their living room, and never perform for the public, and that is absolutely fine.

FAQ Spotlight - taking "lower level" classes

When I was a new student, I was absolutely rabid for any new information on bellydance. I was always digging around for new details about the styles I was studying, the classes I was taking, and the teachers I was studying with (or hoped to one day study with). I know a lot of you reading this blog are the same way--you just love reading about the dance, and learning all you can in your time both in and outside of class!

It was in this spirit that I started my FAQ section on my website. I knew other dancers are just like me, and are eager to read up on various topics having to do with the dance. There is a lot to cover, but I tried to focus my questions and answers on the same questions I had when I was first learning. It makes for a long FAQ, though, and it can be hard to find time to dig through it all. So I am going to occasionally post a blog entry featuring one of the FAQ topics I think you may enjoy reading. I welcome any thoughts or feedback on these topics--I am still that same eager student who loves to study and discuss all the angles of this incredible dance form!

Our first featured topic is:

Once I have progressed to the next level in class, why would I want to continue taking the previous level class?

You can read the full FAQ response by clicking the link (the question) above. Sandi of FCBD put it in excellent perspective:

"For me, its kind of like going to yoga classes for a long time. You do the same poses and hear the same words, but you're always able to get better at the poses each time through that verbal guidance. That's what happens with constant practice too. I find that I'm not always successful doing yoga at home on my own because I don't have the guidance and the energy of the other students around me to push me to do it correctly or motivate me to keep the pose for longer.

With ATS, I would always go into a class to not only understand what the teacher is saying, but to get into my body more and try to work on my problem areas."

Right on, Sandi! Have a gander at the FAQ, and please feel free to share any further thoughts you may have!

"Can you teach me to dance like _______...?"

Most every teacher I know has run into this question in one form or another from new students--some of us hear it many times a year. "I saw 'The World Famous Debbie Dancer' on YouTube. Can you teach me to dance like her?"

The short answer? No.
The only slightly longer answer?
Neither can she!

No teacher can truly teach you to dance just like them. What they can provide you is tools for your own dance--tools perhaps they themselves used to arrive at their own personal style, which you can then take to create your own personal style.

I am here in Lincoln, Nebraska getting ready to teach my first of two workshops at the Tribal Dreams Festival, and over breakfast this morning was chatting with Jawahara of Chicago about teaching and workshops and the culture of the bellydance world today as we know it. And one phenomenon we were talking about was the propensity for some dancers to come to classes or workshops wanting to be or dance just like another dancer. Jawahara was talking about dancers who would look at old footage of Taheya Carioca and Samia Gamal, and wanting to emulate every little nuance of those dancer's performances. For others, it might be like the many people who watch Rachel Brice or Aziza of Montreal, and try to make every single detail look and feel exactly the same.

It's a good jumping-off point, but the question is, are you trying to be them, or do you want to be you inspired by them?

FAQ - New Students

New Students - Classes - Performance - Tribal Style Bellydance - All FAQ Topics

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New Students FAQ
Below are the most common questions I get from new students. If you would like to learn even more, click on any section of the Extended FAQ menu above, where I have expanded on some common questions and added more detailed topics.

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What should I wear to class?

Comfortable clothes that you can move in, such as yoga pants and a fitted tank top or tee shirt, are a great combination for first-time students. Avoid any garments that restrict movement in any way, such as jeans, narrow skirts, etc. Avoid voluminous tops as they make it difficult to see how your body's movement and posture alignment.

Other common options include pantaloons, full skirt and choli.

A hip sash or hip scarf is recommended and is great for being able to really see how your hips are moving. Please no "noisy" scarves, such as ones with loud coins or bangles, as it can make it hard to hear the instructor and distract other students.

Bare feet is the norm, though any soft dance shoe would be fine as well if you so choose. Street shoes are not allowed in the studio.

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Do I need to bring anything?

There is no requirement to do so, but I encourage students to put together a "dance bag", which includes a water bottle and a small notebook and pen for notes, finger cymbals, a spare hip scarf, and perhaps a small towel if you wish. Then everything you need to run off to class is in one place!

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What time should I plan to arrive to class?

I suggest planning to be to the classroom, dressed and ready to dance, by 10 minutes before the hour. This not only gives you some breathing room should you have unexpected delays, but it will give you some time to get settled in, say hi to your fellow students, and get into a head-space where you are prepared to dance. Rushing in last minute is a sure way to start off on the wrong foot for both your brain and your body! You are able to enter the room 5 minutes before the hour. Please sign in on the attendance sheet as soon as you arrive.

Please, out of respect for your fellow dancers, and for your body which needs a proper warm-up, do not join in if more than 10 minutes late. See missed-class make-up policies on the registration page.

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Where can I purchase finger cymbals? What kind should I get?

Students will need to purchase high quality student finger cymbals (also called zills), which can be found at Saroyan Mastercrafts--either Afghanis or Grecians are recommended. I know of no local shops which carry quality finger cymbals, so you must plan ahead and purchase them online in time to use in class the third week of the session.

If you do choose to go with another brand of finger cymbals, make sure you purchase good quality ones. If you buy cheaply produced finger cymbals, they will be difficult to play, and the sound will not be pleasing to you and you won't want to practice! Do not go to "ethnic" shops or similar import stores to purchase them--you will be disappointed! Those are prop pieces and are not appropriate instruments for serious playing. Most important, make sure your chosen style has two slots for the elastic, and can accommodate 1/4" elastic. Finger cymbals with two wide slots and good quality elastic will stay on your fingers better, which helps you play more confidently. All Saroyan finger cymbals share this quality and are well worth the money spent.

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What are classes like, exactly?

If this is your first bellydance class, or even your first dance class, then I extend an extra warm welcome to you! It takes a bit of courage to try something new, and we will do our best to show you a good time!

Level 1 classes will begin with a gentle warm-up, to get our blood pumping and muscles limber and prepared for dancing. Then we will learn one slow move and one fast move each week, drilling them, and answering any questions you may have. Then we finish by working on these skills with our fellow dancers, getting a chance to put them together into short combinations to practice the individual skills within the context of group improvisational dancing.

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Do I have to have a bare belly to participate?

Not at all! A fitted top is at least required, for me to be able to see your posture and form. But while a bare belly is not required, keep in mind that in bellydance class, it is entirely appropriate and in context. Click here to read more about baring your belly in class, and belly-covering options for class.

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Have more questions? Check out the Extended FAQ! See the menu at the top left for more topic categories.