More on accepting criticsm

In my last post on criticism, I explored the role of constructive criticism in the life of a student: criticism which comes from a loving source and is intended to be helpful. In this post, we're looking at criticism that is not necessarily "kindly meant"--snarks, backhanded compliments, and other thoughtless and offhanded remarks which can really wound. How can we deal with this kind of negative feedback and come out smelling like roses?




Here is an article from ZenHabits, which looks at how to deal with this kind of criticism gracefully:

"One of the keys to my success in anything I do is my ability to find positive things in things that most people see as a negative. Sickness forces me to stop my exercise program? That’s a welcome rest. Tired of my job? That’s a time to rediscover what’s important and to look for a better job. Supertyphoon ruined all my possessions? This allowed me to realize that my stuff wasn’t important, and to be thankful that my loved ones were still alive and safe.

You can do the same thing with criticism: find the positive in it. Sure, it may be rude and mean, but in most criticism, you can find a nugget of gold: honest feedback and a suggestion for improvement."
How to Accept Criticism with Grace and Appreciation

Another valuable tool to have in your bag is a better understanding of why some people deliver thoughtless criticism.

"Some people who pride themselves on their brutal honesty, however, have a poorly developed social filter when it comes to tact and politeness. They aren't always aware that their critical comments could be personally hurtful or socially embarrassing. They may feel justified by publicly saying what others were thinking privately, but they simply lack the sense of propriety which should prevent such incidents."
Why are some people so brutally honest?

Just a little food for thought.

Carolena can read minds...

...and other wonderful tidbits in Part 1 of 2 interviews with Carolena and Megha by a couple of gals in Florida, Mary and Tammy. I love especially the discussion of preparing students for performance starting at around 25 minutes.

http://www.yippodcast.com/2009/07/episode-11a-fatchance-interview-pt-1.html

Here is a transcribed snippet, from around :50, in brief, to whet your whistle:

Yip: "Through the years...how do you keep ATS fresh? I mean, do you guys add in new moves, and how do you decide if you're gong to add something in or...the creative process behind that."

Carolena: "You know, I don't even think about keeping it fresh. I just do it. And I don't consciously say, you know, 'This is getting stale. We need a new move." We just do what we do.

And it's like an energy bounce. It just keeps rolling and rolling and rolling, and I just, I follow it. I don't direct it. D'you know what I mean? It's like I really feel like it never really intended for it to happen in the first place. It just sort of showed up and like, said, 'Chase me,' and I was like 'Okay, I'll chase you.'

And it's still like that. I really feel like there is a Dance Goddess who wanted me to present this to everybody, and I was like, 'Me? I'll try.' And she's been running ahead of me all these years..."

Creative Fun: Drawing!

In the course of doing the Artist Way several times over the past 10 years, I have sought out various avenues of creative expression for my Artist Date. In the second chapter of the book, you are told to make a list of all the things you have wished to do, but never made the time or gave yourself permission to do. One of my big ones was drawing and illustration. Just never made the time.

Enter DrawSpace.
http://www.drawspace.com/

There are lots of online lessons in drawing, from simple shapes to shading, to more detailed lessons in learning how to use scale and proportion and beyond. I thought I would pass it on in case anyone else has a hankerin' to do something crafty, and all ya need is a pencil and a piece of paper. Some of these lessons I would print out and bring with me when I was waiting for class to begin or at a coffee house, or even just my back deck in the sunshine. Enjoy!

You don't love dance...

Discovered that Aziza S'aid has a blog, and really enjoyed her post today on why we (don't) love the dance. Give it a read!
http://azizasaid.wordpress.com/2009/07/27/its-4-am-and-my-brain-is-burning/

"You do not love yoga, or dance.

You think you do, but you don’t. The “it” is not the object of your love… you do NOT love yoga or dance.

What you really love is Who You Are when you do it.

The dance, the yoga, it is a vehicle. It is the way, the path, the mechanism. It is Your way, it is what is working best for you right now, and may always be what works best for you, but it is still just a tool."

Just reach for it...

"I have learned a great lesson this last week/2 weeks. I must pay attention to my intentions. I got a little lost for a bit because I allowed my focus to stray from my ultimate goal. I guess I’ve spent so much time and energy trying to identify just what that goal was, I lost sight of it in my search for the hard way to find it.

I remember a number of stories my teacher told me in the 1980’s about always seeking out the tons of ways and heavy energy I would expend to find my way when it was right in front of me all the time and all I had to do was reach out and grab it. I miss Ruth. She’s probably laughing her head off at me right now, but I think she’d be proud to see that I’m finally just reaching out and grabbing what has been there all along."

I came across a new blog the other day, "Living the Created Life", and in reading through some past posts I found the above quote.


It made me muse to myself...what things in my life are really just there for me to reach out and take? How much do I make grand gestures in an attempt to achieve a more fulfilling life, attain greater happiness, forge stronger relationships, reach desired goals...how much am I generating "heavy energy" or "expanding" to try and reach it, instead of just reaching for it from where I am? Could it really be that easy? How will we know if we don't try?

I have been trying to get back into my meditation practice, which is a really good exercise in doing nothing for me. I am awful at having a quiet mind, and I make it worse by surrounding myself constantly with fillers--internet, music, television are always near at hand, ready to give my mind a task or feed it with passive input constantly. I am back on the Artist Way wagon, which always gives me a sort of motivation (permission?) to balance out my daily routine with some nothingness. In mediation, there is no "grasping" at the meditative state. You can't make it happen--pushing or forcing yourself somehow into a quietude doesn't work. Instead, you sit and allow it to come. You become restful, bring your energy gently inward so it is ready to open and expand of its own accord. There is no try, only do, right?

And this practice at meditation, coupled with the blog post above, it makes me wonder...what else can I gently set myself ready to receive so I can pluck it when it presents itself? What am I not seeing that is right in front of me, because I am casting about so frantically to find that which is simply waiting for me to see it? What opportunity, what intent, is unrealized because I am not focused in the right direction?

What about you?

Leaping to success

"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success."
Henry David Thoreau

"Everything Your Mother Should Have Told You About Being An Artist"

From http://www.artadvice.com/advice/article30.php

"No matter how original you think your work is, it has been done before.

Originality does not define quality, quality defines quality. Regardless of whether or not your work is original, what makes art exceptional is the context in which it was made from an art historical point of view. Study art history, know your influences, and understand that originality and/or technique is only one of many considerations in the determination of what makes art great."

YES! I really loved this quote from the article, as it says so much about what I feel about our dance world. So many dancers are struggling and pushing to be "uber-original"--everyone seems to want to lay claim to being "first" at whatever new trend might hit the scene. But this grasping does not create authentic, organic work, and it does not guarantee any quality of the end product.

I always say I would rather see three of the "same old" moves executed amazingly well than 15 "new things" done sloppily. Hey, I love to see new work--it can inspire! But more invigorating to me is seeing a performer with real chops doing something from a deep source of understanding and love of the material than someone who is trying to throw 15 tricks into 15 seconds.

While this article addresses painters/sculpters/etc, it is an interesting read for anyone who has the dream of being An Artist. Read on...

Teaching/learning to take criticism...

Criticism really is a double-edged sword. It can be so hard to hear, and so difficult to parse into something motivating. Yet as performers, it is part of our job to do just that. From an early age I studied theater and dance, and it was always parroted in my ear to "get a thick skin". The implication was that we eventually develop some kind of emotional armor where criticism just bounces off and we ignore it. But that is not a productive or wise way to approach criticism, because critique can be a tool to bettering ourselves. Shutting it out is counter-productive on every level. A better approach is to learn how to let the constructive information in, and leave the emotional reaction at the gates.

"Constructive criticism is criticism kindly meant that has a goal of improving some area of another person’s life or work. Often constructive criticism refers specifically to the critique of someone else’s written or artistic work, in perhaps a teacher/student setting, that would allow that person to further improve the work or to improve their approach to future endeavors." (Wisegeek.com )

Ah if only all criticism were "kindly meant"! But for now, let's focus our energies on these kinds of criticisms: honestly constructive critiques from our mentors, close peers, family, and friends.

"The stage is your temple"

From an interview with Queen Harish about "stage fright". As we come upon our big local festival this weekend, and all the beauties who are entering their temple for the first or fiftieth time, I share this lovely sentiment with my fellow dancers:

"In Backstage before a show, I hear promoters and assistants worrying how I feel, when actually I am feeling completely relieved from the tensions of administrating the flying tickets, the embassy interviews for the visa and all the traveling to make the show happen... and now comes the best time to dance. When you meet the stage, it is like a life journey on the way to God.

I am also posting this thought as I also noticed many of my students worrying before entering on stage, starting to lack confidence in their dance and all the hours they have been practicing. As they enter the stage, I can see that even they smile, their fear is not going.

The most important time of the show is the entrance, this is the moment you spread the tone of your energy, hitting the bell in the audience.

When I enter a stage, I feel like walking into a temple. Before putting my feet on a stage I incline and greet the stage and only after enter the temple. For all dancers, stage is a temple for us! As in all temples, only good energies are inside. It is not possible to have bad energies inside a temple, in the street is possible but not in the temple!!

So, when you are entering in your temple, why do you have fear? I advise best confidence to all the dancers."

Dance as Healing - There Are No Words

Below is an article I wrote for the now-defunct Caravan Trails quarterly newsletter which used to be produced by Paulette Rees-Denis of Gypsy Caravan. I was author of a regular column called "Of the Tribe", for which I wrote short articles focused on the topic Paulette had chosen. This was for the Fall 2002 edition, with a theme of Dance as Healing, and I thought I would share it with you all.

Clay pots...

We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.
~The Tao Te Ching

In essence, we must become a shape ready to hold what we want. Build the structure of your daily existence that prepares you for the life you want most.

What do you want most?

Make it impossible to say "no"...

I tried to link this directly, but for some reason the link was completely jacked and wouldn't show me the essay on its own. I didn't want to link you just to the blog and then make you scroll to look for the article in question, so I have posted it here in its entirety. But please stop by the original poster's blog at http://tipsfromthehip.blogspot.com/ and express your appreciation if you like the essay.

In the article below, really like the idea of framing new ideas in such a way that it is not a black and white "fail/succeed". As a teacher, my instincts are often to give my students all these up-front provisos and caveats and warnings when they are trying something new, to try and help them understand that it may be difficult and to encourage them to not to be frustrated by the attempt should they not "get it" right away. But really, aren't I just setting up an expectation for frustration or failure by planting that seed at the outset? Would it be better to practice the "Daughers of Rhea Way", and simply say "try it"? Read on and let me know what you think...

Hold on...

Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.

--A Pueblo Indian Prayer

Powerful Percussion - Special Skills n' Drills session!

Powerful Percussion
with guest instructors Helene Eriksen and Erik Brown
Thursdays 8:30-9:30pm

Helene Eriksen - Finger Cymbals: July 23 & 30, August 6
Erik Brown - Middle Eastern Drums: August 13, 20, 27

Helene Eriksen and Erik Brown will be sharing their talents with us as guest instructors in the next session of Skills n' Drills. This special session will be open to all levels and all styles--there is no minimum experience requirement on this session. You need not be a current student of mine to enjoy these incredibly fun classes!


The first three weeks will be an exploration of finger cymbals theory and practice, followed by three weeks of Middle Eastern drum rhythms and drills. Students will come away with new skills in integration of your left and right brain and body, some history of percussion around the world, recognizing common Middle Eastern rhythms in music, and of course lots of time to play play play!

A key to becoming a better dancer is to familiarize yourself with the intricacies of the rhythms we are driven by. So these classes will teach you not only some great new skills in zills and drumming, but will also enrich your dance!

Again, classes are open to all levels, all styles!

Registration is at http://www.mandalatribal.com/classes/register. The class is listed as "Thursdays Level 2b - Powerful Percussion" in the drop-down if registering through Paypal.

Wow! Jamila brief bio video!

I don't think I ever saw this before. What a gem!

Make up tip: keep the cheeks clean!

Have you ever gotten your foundation all set and lovely, only to ruin it by having loose shadow or kohl powder fall as you're applying it, which you have to clean away and then reapply your foundation there?

Tip!
Apply a fairly heavy dusting of finishing/translucent powder below your eyes and leave it there while you do your eye make-up. Then lightly brush it away when you are done, taking away any errant product with it. Voila!

Tribal Style: Getting our Terms Straight

More blasts from the past today! After I found that old class outline, I also found a repository of some of my old articles from various publications.

Below is an article I wrote for the now-defunct Caravan Trails quarterly newsletter which used to be produced by Paulette Rees-Denis of Gypsy Caravan. I was author of a regular column called "Of the Tribe" for a short time, for which I wrote short articles focused on the topic Paulette had chosen. This was for my first article, sometime in 2001, or maybe early 2002. Enjoy a little retro reading...

Wow...way old class outline...

This is a class outline I wrote back in August of 2001 when I was teaching at Goddess Squad. Some things are so completely different...and some things are eerily the same after 8 years!
When I first started teaching, I would write detailed plans from warm ups to cool downs, and then would keep a journal each evening writing about how class went and if I got to everything, how they seemed to respond to different ways of describing things or drilling them, etc. It was really valuable then, and really interesting to look back at all these notes!
****************************

Warm-up!
*Shoulder rolls, progress until snake arms
*Neck rolls
*Arms up over head, chest lifted, shoulders down, reach right arm up and drop right hip "climbing ladder" reverse, back and forth
*Widen stance, flat back, rotate torso to face corner of room without moving hips, don't lock knees or hunch shoulders reach for right corner of room. Shoulders back! Keep hips as forward as possible, feeling stretch along side. Pull up through stomach to maximize stretch and take strain off of back.
*Round back and bend toward right leg, feeling stretch in the opposite hip and thigh. Keep hips forward still.
*Walk hands to middle, feeling hamstring stretch, demi-plie and roll up center
*Repeat on left
*Return to right, but when bending down to foot, turn body to the right so you are bending over your right knee.
*Down to lunge, either knee off the floor or down onto floor
*Drop leg down to half-z sit stretching hips and legs
*Bring back leg up over front leg, torso twisting stretch
*Bring legs under you and surrender
*Tuck toes under you, standing up, walking hands back to your feet
*Hang in this position, stretching back. Lift up through stomach, as if you are hanging down from your hips. Roll up.
*Repeat on left

Arm improvisation follow along!

Zils!
Review posture!! arms either active at hips, active out to side, or on back of hips.
lift arms from shoulder blades to relieve shoulders and release tension
Review triples RLR, RLR, RLR, RLR (dum-ka-dum, dum-ka-dum, dum-ka-dum)
Review beledi R-R-RLR, R-RLR pause, R-R-RLR, R-RLR pause (Dum dum Tek ka tek, Dum Tek ka Tek)
Layer movements with triples:
Standing in place, shifting weight, or step-touch in place
Walking in circle, arms either active and low or out to each side
Step-touch in circle, active low, on back of hips, or out to each side
Step-touch with arms in switching L

Moves!
Review posture!!! QUEENS AND GODDESSES!
Three point turns: step R-L-R-shift weight, repeat POSTURE, ARMS
Review taqsim, maya, and figure eight
Teach chest circles
Teach Carolyn's walk
Teach combo with two ends of room moving toward one another. May choose any of the three moves:
berber walk twice, maya/taqsim/figure eight for three counts, transitioning back to berber walk on four, repeat
If time left over: hips bumps and hip bump traveling (in circle and across floor)

Closing moving meditation!