I Release You From Perfection

by Shay Moore
I release you from perfection.
I give you permission to screw up.
A lot.
I invite you take risks that don't always pan out.
I encourage you to laugh at your mistakes,
but take them seriously enough to correct them.
I request you think positive thoughts about yourself,
about your dance,
about your fellow dancers.
I abolish your excuses
so you can realize your capability.
I wish for you to get to know your roots,
which are my roots, too.
I ask that you respect those roots.
I expect you to expect more from yourself.
I hope for you to find your bliss,
and recognize your own beauty
on all its many levels,
in all its many forms.
I release you from perfection.
I applaud each and every misstep
that brings you closer to your Best.

Shame Free Blogging Day!

The lovely Arya over on Style Trumps Fashion, a student and friend of mine, is starting a new tradition this year: Shame Free Blogging.  After a recent incident of downright inappropriate and personal commenting on her blog, she was inspired to stand up and say "NO WAY will I allow you to shame me"--particularly when it comes to our bodies, and our confidence in it and love for it, it is too easy to fall prey to cruel intentions of others.  The internet (and the "blogosphere") is filled with trolls--thoughtless and insecure people who find some sense of power in their life by trying to bring others down or stir the shit.  And today, on Shame Free Blogging Day, I am saying:

We don't buy that crazy here. Peddle that shit elsewhere.

A little bit from Arya's blog about it:

"I am not ashamed of my body.  My body is strong, supple, and graceful.  It is firm in some places, and soft in others.  It rises to my demands (almost) without fail, whether I want to participate in a four-hour yoga workshop, make it through boot camp and two war zones, shimmy for two hours straight, make love with my husband, run for three miles, or stay up through the night with a woman in labor.  My body is shaped in a way that screams "WOMAN!", and I'm finally, blessedly, okay with enjoying that.

I will not be shamed."


If you have a blog, or even a Facebook page, where you would like to show solidarity for a shame-free experience on the internet, join us today by posting one of Arya's lovely badges on your blog, site, or page.

Live in the layers...

The Layers

Stanley Kunitz
I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strenth
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.


Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!

Busy Busy Season!

Sorry things have been so slow around here lately. I am sure you all have been experiencing the same thing--that holiday hectic...ness? -icity? Whatever, it's just been really busy. So I haven't had a lot of time to share my thoughts here.

The biggest change has been that shortly before Thanksgiving, I took a contract job with The Purple Store.  What is it, you ask? Why, a store that sells purple things of course.  Yep, that is the business model.  If you or someone you know loves purple, they need to check out this shop. The site isn't fancy, but it's chock full of purpley goodness.

As you might imagine, being any kind of retailer around the holidays meant that my training was trial-by-fire, as we leapt from a manageable chunk or orders each day to OMGWTFXMAS in just over a week after I started. Luckily, the people I work with are smart, funny, motivated people, and we worked hard as a team to kick out the orders, answer customer service queries, and even put up a small retail space for last minute Christmas shoppers to get their gift on. To say it was a crazy busy time would be an understatement, but it was a joy to get to flex some different mental and physical muscles.

Classes have been small since I returned from hiatus, but it is made up of a dedicated bunch of women.

It's been a lot of fun to be able to give more personal attention to each individual student. It reminds me of the first year I taught, and how it felt to be able to really see each student fully and personally.  

A delightful fall weekend....

Started the weekend early with a matinee movie with my friend Arya, followed by tea and stimulating conversation. Friday night was a chill night in with hubby. Saturday morning was breakfast, then some food prep for the potluck mini-family reunion later. SIL and hubby came over a little early for a little chat, then we head to the reunion, which was filled with kind, funny, friendly relatives Chris n' sis hadn't seen in maybe two decades or more (as well as delicious ham!).  Went later than we planned, so we went home instead of the Tiff's birthday (sorry to miss it, Tiff! Hope your 30th rocked!) to chill out and watch a couple episodes of Dexter before going to bed early.

Early to bed, early to rise this morning, and went to breakfast at the Jewel Box Cafe, splitting a breakfast panini and a sweet berry crepe.  Came home and knit some on my new mitt design. Spending the afternoon cooking a wild mushroom soup while hubby performs delicate surgery on my iMac to try and fix it (replacing the video card *fingers crossed*). Chopping veggies, plucking some of the last of the fresh herbs from our garden (leaving my fingers smelling of thyme and rosemary all day long), sipping wine and smelling a rich, earthy soup simmering on the stove, all with a background soundtrack of Ella Fitzgerald on Pandora= one thing I can easily adore about the changing of the seasons.

I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of October as I am.

Who I am vs. What I do

I am coming back off my dance hiatus this week, and in addition to lots and lots of dreams in the weeks leading up to the day--some anxiety, some hope-filled--one theme keeps running around in my head: the idea of your profession being something you do versus something which defines who you are.

When people ask what I do for a living I have long said "I am a bellydance teacher and performer." When I think about it, I can see that I am answering a question that wasn't asked. Isn't this a response we all give equally casually?

"What do you DO?" they ask. And we answer "I AM a..."  There's a subtle but important distinction between the question and the answer. 

Little things that feel good

I've been a bit off the wagon in my home organization and healthier eating with the whole Shitpocalypse 2010 this spring and summer, so things haven't been as clean and pretty as I was keeping them. But I am getting back on all those wagons, and trying to clean, organize, and eat healthier once again. So as when I began this promise to myself all those months ago, I am taking tiny steps, doing little things which add up to larger emotional, physical, and mental rewards.

One thing I did to inspire myself to get back to it was to treat myself with some new bedding details. We haven't had a headboard on our bed since we got our King size Tempur-pedic (years), and between that and the anemic little memory foam pillows we now use, the bed looked kinda limp.  I have gotten in the habit of making my bed every morning--something I never had to do growing up and never saw a purpose to all my life--and enjoy how good it feels to walk into our bedroom during the day and see it made up nicely, and even nicer when crawling in at night. Made it feel...I dunno...just nicer.   So a few weeks ago I took it a step further and became One Of Those Women: I now have decorative pillows that live on my bed only during daylight hours.

I always thought it was a silly practice, moving pillows on and off every morning and night just for "looks". But whenever I stay in a hotel, there is something so beautiful and inviting about big overstuffed pillows and crisp linens to greet you. I wanted to feel like that at home.

So I hit up the Macy's sale, used a couple gift cards I had been saving for the right time, and here is what our bed looks like now. The pillows stay pretty much the same (they go with almost every color palette we have on the bed at any given time), the duvet changes every few weeks, and if it is solid then I fold the red quilt right side out to reveal the lush printed side with the saturated colors my Mom incorporated in the design when she made it for us (but which clashes when put on top of a printed duvet). So we have lots of "looks" out of a few little additions, and my bed just feels more lush and welcoming!

It's a smidge more work every morning to make it, but it is one little thing that makes me smile and feel pride in my home. So it's worth it. :)

Your 2010 Wish List: how's it going?

At the beginning of the year, I created a 2010 Wishlist, which you can see HERE. It was an anti-resolutions way of listing goals for myself for the coming year, and I challenged you to do the same. Did you make a list? If so, how is your list going? We're a bit over the 6 month mark for 2010, so it's a good time to see what progress we have made.

For my list, my weight is down about 11lbs. I was down as much as 15, but gained some back over the summer with all the stress. I am back on the wagon and working toward the goal of better health once again.

Re-evaluating dance in my life is one I have had no choice but to stare straight in the face. And to be truthful, I don't have any answers there, yet. But I am on a continuing journey right now that is taking steps toward greater understanding of this question.

I am definitely more organized, but have a loooong way to go with regard to that. Case and point: my desk as I type this message. Ugh. But in other areas of my life, home and business, I have been cleaning up and taking stock, which is good.

So how about you?

Web design and what it means to me...

Web design has been at the forefront of my work this past week. With the dissolution of my troupe, and the lengthy hiatus from my dance over this summer, this fall is an opportunity for a little reinvention. Nothing too drastic mind you, but definitely a re-branding is in order before the Tribal Dreams Festival in November, and Tribal Revolution next year. Taking down the old websites will be hard, but cathartic perhaps.

The tricky part to my dance as a business over the years was compartmentalizing the different dominant aspects of my experience. I was a teacher, but was a director of a troupe which was shared with another person. Technically our troupe was born before I was teaching, so when I began to teach was when the roads diverged strangely. When we taught workshops, sometimes it was as "Shay" and sometimes it was as "inFusion", and more often than not the person hiring didn't understand the difference. When I sold merchandise, some was mine, some was the troupe's, and people would have to write two different checks if they bought items from each. This was very confusing for students and promoters. After all, when you take a workshop with Carolena, you don't wonder if you're getting a workshop from her or from FatChance. It's not either Paulette or Gypsy Caravan. It's understood that these two entities are inexorably entwined. Not so with me and it was a source of tension for many years.

Now I am given the opportunity to re-structure my dance as a business, and it's been hard to get excited about. Because committing to it means finally closing the door, once and for all, on a period of time that was so fulfilling and blessed. The ending was hard, and continues to be, but the years prior were the stuff of dreams. To write The End on that page is...character building, let's say. What I have to keep telling myself is that just because what has come before was incredible beyond my imagination doesn't mean the best is already behind me. There could be more ahead I can't imagine, too!

So designing a new web page is a fun creative venture that can be a tiny step toward these changes. I need to embrace the future, whatever it will be. And frankly, learn to enjoy the process of change as I experience it today.

And so it continues...

It's pretty nonstop here at the Moore household. Last week I got word that my eldest brother, Ken, was in the ICU with severe pancreatitis brought on by a gall stone that had become lodged in his system, blocking his liver function. His digestive system basically shut down, and he was unable to eat anything, subsisting on IV saline alone for about 4 days. My sister was down there helping care for him that week, and the day after she left, I flew down to take over. He was home, but not very mobile, so I was doing laundry, cooking meals, and generally keeping him company. By the time I left 5 days later, he seemed to be doing much better, but was still in a fair amount of pain, distended belly, and various portions of his endocrine system were still swollen and not working at capacity. The day after I got home, he was back at the doctor getting more tests and x-rays, and potentially re-entering the hospital. I have not heard from him since his x-rays yesterday and am keeping my fingers crossed.

More lighthearted bits and bobs after the jump, I promise.

Catching up a little...

Obviously, I have been in hibernation mode lately. I am sorry, dear readers, for being absent. I honestly had no idea how many readers, and how far flung my readership was, until I got that little widget guy on the left there. Wow! Thanks to all you anonymous readers who have been visiting and hanging in with me while my blog has been latent.

Catching up a little after the cut...

I'm not fine...but I will be!

My friend Arya has a wonderful blog that I pop over to read now and again. Today, I caught up on a past post where she mused about the word "fine". What struck me was this portion of it:

"Fred: "Oh, hello, Alma. I haven't seen you in so long. How are you?"

Alma: "Hi Fred. I'm fine. How 'bout yourself?"

**********************************

Does the above greeting sound familiar? Have you been Fred or Alma - either on the receiving or giving end of a "fine"?
...
The truly sad thing about the overused "fine" is that it is usually a lie. A flat-out lie (just read the links above to read various definitions). Usually, everything about the person saying they're fine tells us otherwise. Alma looks disheveled. Her skin is waxy and her eyes have dark rings. She seems to sag, as if drained. And yet, when asked by a friend how she's doing, she tells him "fine". She could simply say, "Oh, Fred. I'm having a tough time right now. I appreciate you asking how I'm doing, but I don't feel like talking about it." She could be honest without going into details, "I'm not well, but I'll be okay." Somehow we, as a culture, have all become "fine" even when we're not."

My thoughts after the jump...

The Perfect Storm: Two Big Things, One Long Week

My online family has been concerned over my recent spate of obviously bereft emotional postings on Facebook, and I haven't been able to share too much. I am sorry to have to have been so cryptic and distant, but it's all news that needed the right time to be shared. Beyond the cut is more than you might even want to dive into, but if you're interested in what's been up in my world (and I assume that is why you are all here), here's the scoop, in three parts:

BIG THING #1 - "FUCK CANCER!"
BIG THING #2: A FAREWELL FROM INFUSION TRIBAL
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

A still more glorious dawn awaits...

With each passing year, I discover an incredible overlap between bellydance and geekitude. This pleaseth me greatly. :) So I am confident that a large cross section of you who visit this blog will appreciate the following video. It was sent to me via various methods earlier this year, and I have had it stuck in my head and heart ever since. It's autotuned Carl Sagan (feat. Stephen Hawking, even!), so for those of you not interested in either (autotuned music or science), you may not enjoy it much. But it made me cry when I first heard it and it still moves me incredibly every time I listen.

I grew up watching Cosmos with my family at home, and later on VHS in science class. Carl Sagan is at the top of my "if you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" His combination of genius level intelligence, eloquent speaking skills, practical spirituality, childlike wonder, wry humor, respect for life, and passionate desire to understand that which is not yet understood is, to me, an incredibly evolved state of being which Mr. Sagan exemplified in his life* and work. This song is a lovely tribute to the man and his philosophies.



And while we're at it, you need to read "The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark" by Carl Sagan. An incredible read by one of the greatest thinkers in human history. http://www.amazon.com/Demon-Haunted-World-Science-Candle-Dark/dp/0345409469

(* To be clear, Sagan was still HUMAN, and I am aware of his personal relationship issues with his wives and family, but I am speaking of the public figure and his admirable qualities. I should hope I am more judged on the good I do publicly than the way I fuck up in private. :)

What do you want on this blog?

Dance Shay or Personal Shay? Or Both?



Hello lovelies!

Okay, I could use a little feedback here!

Starting this journal, my intent was to keep it strictly dance and art related, with a few sillies thrown in here and there for fun. I have a separate personal journal that hasn't seen much action as of late, except to put up some of my knitting and crocheting patterns and projects, and recipes I have been using or creating. Occasionally I will talk about personal life stuff there as well--family, vacations, home improvement, etc. Now I am having some people asking why I don't post those things more here, and on Facebook by RSS.

So what do you want? Would you prefer this stick to a dance/art only format, or would you like other creative or personal endeavors blogged about here as well? I don't want to clog up anyone's dancey reading, for those of you who subscribe to my journal presently. But certainly all of those things fall under the Adventures of THIS Tribal Dancer, so I can see them melding somewhat as well. I could perhaps even make a few tags to separate them out: "personal", "recipes", "knit/crochet", that kind of thing to help sort them.

So which would you prefer? I would like to hear from y'all to make a decision.

Thanks for reading, everyone! I love hearing from you, as well, so please post feedback and comments anytime!

Off to Jamila Weeklong

Renee and I are leavin' on a jet plane today for SF to attend the Jamila Salimpour Weeklong. I am sadly injured on two levels and won't be dancing much, which makes me very sad, but I am still excited to get to *literally* sit at the feet of one of the most influential dancers in American Bellydance history, soak up her knowledge and stories, share some good times with my friend Renee, take in San Francisco for a week, and generally make the most of a week of learning and silliness!

I will not be testing as we have to fly back on Friday for our annual troupe retreat. Testing begins at 1pm and our flight is at 3pm. Though testing would be something I would like to do (if for nothing else, to be able to have the option to do the Level 2), I am not going specifically to get a certificate, but instead am plenty happy to get the knowledge and hear it from the Source. Then we're happily heading home early so we can be swapping bags and leaving immediately for the cabin to meet up with our dance family for a weekend of sharing, drinking, noshing, laughing, drumming, dancing, crafting, and generally bonding with my dance sisters.

Wow, a whole week without my hubby (I will see him for about 30 minutes when he picks us up at the airport until we hop into Renee's car to drive off), and without puppies. But also a whole week without working on anything yard related! Woot! Though in related news on that front, We Can Haz Lawn! We have a weirdly perfect sod lawn outside my window as I type this, and it is tripping me out!

Okay, gotta finish my last minute packing, then off to the airport! But before I do, here is a little taste of what I will be working on.

Here is the performance we did at the Northwest Folklife Festival last year. The first zill portion was inspired by the Jamila Level 2--Renee came back aflutter with finger cymbal goodness and orchestrated this zill-off. Then Renee, Quinn, and I perform El Ataba Khadra from Jamila's Level 2 coursework, which Renee and Quinn learned and brought back and included me in performing it. Enjoy!

Slow cookin'....

I have a torrid love affair I need to come clean about. It's been going on for two years now, ever since my friend Amy hooked me up on my birthday. I never could have known that an offhand remark about a secret desire would lead to such a connection that I know will last for the rest of my life.
Don't tell Chris.
It's my crock-pot.

If you have not yet been introduced to the fantabulousness that is a crock-pot, let me be your "hook up". You need to get one. Like, today! As the first grey and stormy days hit Seattle this week, it is time to pull that baby out and get to making some of my favorite hearty soups and one-pot meals. The house is filled with delectable smells all day long (a blessing and a curse), preparations are simple, it needs no tending, and at the end of the day you have a scrumptious feast. I had always dismissed crock-pots as something that grandmas used, and wasn't really a modern cooking apparatus. I was so wrong.

That's my little cherry red beauty there. Nothing fancy, about $20 at Target (though right now it's on sale for $16.99). You don't need anything complex like programmable digital timers or anything like that. Though of course you can if you feel compelled, it just isn't necessary. We know how to read clocks. I recommend getting a 4 quart size, even if it's just you, as it is a perfect size for making enough food for leftovers (and you WILL want the leftovers, believe me!), for parties, etc. Don't bother with a cookbook, as there are literally thousands upon thousands of recipes available online, searchable by keywords for just what you have in mind or in the fridge at the time.

Recipe after the jump...

Shay's Bio - Beyond the Dance

Bio Home - Dance Training - Career Highlights - Beyond Dance

Writing

"As a child, when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, one of the first answers I ever had was "an author" (the other was "an actress"!)."

I was always reading and writing as a child, and to this day I really enjoy expressing myself in the written word. Of course my blog is one way I get to write regularly, but my writings can also be found in various other places.

I have had the honor of being published in several magazines, books, and online 'zines, exploring my thoughts and opinions on bellydance and beyond. For several years I was the author of the column "Of The Tribe", which was a feature in the widely distributed tribal bellydance journal Caravan Trails. I was a contributing author for The Tribal Bible by Kajira Djoumahna, and was also asked to contribute to Tribal Vision by Paulette Rees-Denis.

I also maintain an informational site devoted entirely to tribal bellydance, www.tribalbellydance.org, for which I am always seeking additional contributors. Please pop over and mail me your thoughts and ideas to share with the community!


Design

Over the years I was primary designer and code-monkey for all my web pages, business cards, and marketing efforts. I have learned a lot about what it means to be a struggling artist trying to promote themselves in a world of constant media immersion. Before long, people were asking me to create their web pages and marketing materials, and from that grew my side business as a web and graphic designer.

You can see a collection of some of my design work here. And if you are looking for some help creating a new web page, business cards or postcards, or other promotional materials, please mail me anytime.


Personal

"When I am not dancing, I am blessed to spend my time with my best friend--my wonderfully loving and supportive husband, Chris"

We enjoy geeking out together over computers and tech, video games, and movies, and we love getting the chance to throw parties and entertain friends at our home whenever possible. We are thrilled to play loving auntie and uncle to our friends' beautiful children, and though we choose not to have children of our own right now, we dote on our two dogs (furkids!), Gretchen and Loki, who we completely adore.