I'm not fine...but I will be!

My friend Arya has a wonderful blog that I pop over to read now and again. Today, I caught up on a past post where she mused about the word "fine". What struck me was this portion of it:

"Fred: "Oh, hello, Alma. I haven't seen you in so long. How are you?"

Alma: "Hi Fred. I'm fine. How 'bout yourself?"

**********************************

Does the above greeting sound familiar? Have you been Fred or Alma - either on the receiving or giving end of a "fine"?
...
The truly sad thing about the overused "fine" is that it is usually a lie. A flat-out lie (just read the links above to read various definitions). Usually, everything about the person saying they're fine tells us otherwise. Alma looks disheveled. Her skin is waxy and her eyes have dark rings. She seems to sag, as if drained. And yet, when asked by a friend how she's doing, she tells him "fine". She could simply say, "Oh, Fred. I'm having a tough time right now. I appreciate you asking how I'm doing, but I don't feel like talking about it." She could be honest without going into details, "I'm not well, but I'll be okay." Somehow we, as a culture, have all become "fine" even when we're not."

My thoughts after the jump...

You don't love the dance...

I came across an article I remember reading before (and maybe even posted here, not sure and didn't have time to search), and thought it was timely and interesting to read. From Aziza Sa'id's blog

Today my students were teachers, Belly Dancing and Yoga. The first of today’s Big Questions is one of my favorites… Why Do You Do What You Do? Dance? Yoga?

And people gave some real truths in answer: Because it’s fun; Because in it I find acceptance, of myself and others; Because I feel beautiful; Because I feel at peace; Because it is a way to create and express myself; Because I feel healthier; Because I feel better in and about my body when I do.

Because I love it.

And here’s where I need to say… No. You don’t. You do not love yoga, or dance.

Making Money Off of Dance = Less Love?

Sometimes I feel a little upset when people imply that because I dance as my vocation, that somehow I don't do it for the love of it. My personal take on it is that I love it SO MUCH that I rearranged my entire life, gave up a sizable income I used to make in more lucrative jobs, and passionately commit my energies to being a more knowledgeable dancer, a better teacher, and a professional and polished performer. That isn't to say that those who don't follow my same path don't love it as much as I do--the stars aligned such that I could devote my life to it as I do--but conversely it doesn't mean I only do this for the money or for what it "gets" me.


So I think it is unfair for either side to accuse the other of lack of love driving their decisions in what is or is not appropriate to be termed bellydance. But I strongly believe that lack of experience, a lack of empathy, and/or a dose of ignorance can combine to create a dancer who is unable to appreciate why people fight so hard to define bellydance, tribal bellydance, etc; and why these same dancers eschew the idea of boundaries and responsibilities which the name "bellydancer" encompasses.

Wise advice: Let It Go

Gibson Pearl posted this today, and I thought it was beautiful.

This is something I found long ago...I modified it a touch. Maybe it's something you need to hear right now. Maybe you know someone who needs to hear it. In any case...

**************************************

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this:

When people can walk away from you, let them walk.

The Perfect Storm: Two Big Things, One Long Week

My online family has been concerned over my recent spate of obviously bereft emotional postings on Facebook, and I haven't been able to share too much. I am sorry to have to have been so cryptic and distant, but it's all news that needed the right time to be shared. Beyond the cut is more than you might even want to dive into, but if you're interested in what's been up in my world (and I assume that is why you are all here), here's the scoop, in three parts:

BIG THING #1 - "FUCK CANCER!"
BIG THING #2: A FAREWELL FROM INFUSION TRIBAL
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS